July 2011
2 posts
Rule 50.
What happens at ADF, stays at ADF.
Rule 49.
You yarn bomb my property, I break your fucking fingers.
June 2011
1 post
Rule 48.
Fullsteam Brewery: Because nothing goes better with a beer than a bunch of toddlers running around.
January 2011
7 posts
Rule 47.
More like Casblah.
Rule 46.
You don’t have to tell people you’re in the Nich School. They can smell it.
Rule 45.
Durham’s official religion: trivia.
Rule 44.
You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Bikram. If you’ve tried Bikram and lived, you deserve a medal.
Rule 43.
Go to Whiskey for the atmosphere and drinks; stay for the freedom to smoke and look at the hot female bartender.
Rule 42.
Be able to chronicle all of Amy Tornquist’s business ventures.
Rule 41.
“We live in Old West Durham.” = “We’re cohabiting hipster vegans.”
October 2010
0 posts
Rule 40.
Commenting on one Durham blog about another Durham blog is the most Durham thing you can do. Besides marrying Durham.
Rule 39.
“The Geer” is a much cooler name than “Motorco Music Hall.”
Rule 38.
There are only two beers: the cheapest one on the menu and Fullsteam.
September 2010
6 posts
Rule 37.
The seemingly off-duty cops eating at Cosmic can and will arrest you.
Rule 36.
Never come between an ADF dancer and the Whole Foods salad bar.
Rule 35.
Sirens is both a bar and the sound you can hear outside said bar on any given night.
August 2010
34 posts
Rule 34.
Waiting in the Duke ER is more painful and dangerous than whatever injury or malady brought you there in the first place.
Rule 33.
Shooters: 18 to enter, under 21 and wasted to enjoy.
Rule 32.
Mustaches are only ironic on men.
Rule 31.
Where Ambien fails, Frank Stasio succeeds.
Rule 30.
Watts Grocery is not on Watts. Deal with it.
Rule 29.
Duke students who live in Chapel Hill are douchebags. UNC students who live in Durham are nonexistent.
Rule 28.
Keith is not actually homeless.
Rule 27.
If Elizabeth Smart’s kidnapper lived in Durham, he would definitely work at Sam’s.
Rule 26.
The Pinhook doesn’t accept credit cards, and they barely tolerate collars or deodorant.
Rule 25.
The only difference between gentrification and urban renewal is your political affiliation.
Rule 24.
Choose two: a Subaru, a moped, a bicycle.
Rule 23.
No, Barack Obama was not your waitress at Pop’s.
Rule 22.
Durham doesn’t have hipsters; it has foodies.
Rule 21.
Beware the ides of March. Especially if the District Attorney is up for election.
Rule 20.
Despite its name, Fishmongers is not a lesbian bar.
Rule 19.
Quit smoking. Tomorrow.
Rule 18.
If you can read this sentence, 1013 is not for you.
Rule 17.
A culinary-themed tattoo is the best accessory for any outfit.
Rule 16.
Teasers doesn’t serve food. Eat beforehand.
Rule 15.
Always defend Durham when people say that it is dangerous. (Rule 15a. Always defend yourself; Durham is dangerous.)
Rule 14.
Scene and be seen.
Rule 13.
The only acceptable area to live is near East Campus or downtown. Southpoint isn’t a neighborhood. It isn’t even Durham.
Rule 12.
All dogs should be adopted and of indeterminate breed. If you want a golden retriever, move to Cary.
Rule 11.
Duke University Road and Chapel Hill Street are one and the same. Note the irony and move on.
Rule 10.
Food trucks are the new black.
Rule 9.
Not all Irish pubs on Main Street are created equal.
Rule 8.
Always pick up a copy of the new Indy. Almost never actually read it.
Rule 7.
Wash and rinse. Do not repeat.
Rule 6.
In social settings, find creative and subtle ways to remind those around you that you have a connection with Duke, just short of admitting that you went there.
Rule 5.
If you go to Alivia’s, the terrorists win.
Rule 4.
Resist commenting on the music grad student’s MacGruber mullet. That’s what he wants.
Rule 3.
Alternate using the term “townie” as a pejorative and a self-congratulatory badge of honor.
Rule 2.
Befriend some of the lesbians. Some, not all.
Rule 1.
If you get carded at the Fed, you aren’t going out enough.